Part 3 - Analyzing "How to Pay for a Baby"

The article “How to Pay for a Baby” by Kool A.D. uses lots of slang and expletives in order to disguise itself as a lousy advice article on how to handle to the financial aspect of having children, when in reality it is an entertaining, and sophisticated criticism of American capitalism. The article starts with the phrase “I’mma keep it 100 with y’all,”. Already a use of slang, and diction that you would not expect from an article with this title. So, with this we start to assume that this is simply a crappy article. While the author has us in this state of mind, he slips a little clue into the second sentence as to what the real purpose of the article is, testing whether you’re paying attention. Speaking about how costly babies are as they grow up, he mentions their “susceptibilities to advertising tactics” therefore becoming more expensive. Now, in the second paragraph, there is evidence of entertainment as A.D. says “most likely you’re bad at planning ahead and thinking things through,” if you’ve had a baby. If this was a serious article, then the author wouldn’t make fun of the situation that he is trying to help parents with. The turning point of this article is also in the second paragraph, where he calls money “wild fake”, justifying this with the statement “I hand you these worthless tiny pieces of paper, and I can walk out your store with hella items? You must be out your damn mind.” He continues this criticism, with statements like “you need money to even live indoors,” going into detail of how ridiculous that is in the following two paragraphs, and calling a baby registry “a sideways a** way of begging friends and relatives to buy stuff for your kid.” Now, after such detailed and sophisticated criticisms of capitalism, he shifts back towards what the article is supposed to be about, advising you what toys to buy in the following two paragraphs. The final paragraph tries to tie the article together, whilst also attempting to solidify the barrier between the original expectation of it’s purpose, and the real one, continuing with the bad advice. The presumable reaction after the first read is “What the hell was that,” forcing the reader to go through it again, hopefully uncovering what the article is really about.

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